‘I’m Sorry I Couldn’t Save You’: Liam Payne’s Sister Ruth Pens Emotional Tribute To ‘Best Friend’

Liam Payne‘s sister Ruth Gibbins is saying goodbye to her “best friend.”

On Saturday, the One Direction star’s sister penned a heartfelt and deeply emotional tribute to the 31-year-old, days after he died in Argentina on Wednesday after jumping from his hotel balcony. It is unclear if the fall was intentional or not, and an investigation is ongoing. Mourning the difficult and untimely loss, Ruth expressed:

“I don’t believe this is happening. Many times have I poured my heart out publicly with pride about Liam but never much about life as his sister. Liam is my best friend, noone could ever make me laugh as much as him, doing his impressions always had me creasing and he loved seeing how much of a laugh he could get.”

Related: Liam’s Father Joins Fans Outside Hotel Where He Died For Moment Of Silence

She went on to reflect on his early days of fame, writing:

“He moved out when he was 17 to chase his dream, its this that forced me to finally pass my driving test during [The X Factor] live show weeks because I couldnt stand the thought of not being able to get to him. I would regularly drive to have tea with him after I finished work, just to sit around. One month the hotel was right by a wagamamas and I swear he had it morning, noon and night!”

Aw! They sounded so close! This bond lasted even as One Direction started to take off, Ruth shared:

“I used to love picking him up from work when it all started, especially after concerts, speeding us away from venues or appearances, Liam plugging in his phone to show me the new songs for the albums. Liam loved 1D, he loved his brothers and we talked about it so much. He would just play song after song that had been recorded but never used and we’d sit having a mini 1D concert.

Liam knew he could call me anytime, any day and I would pick up or that I would always fetch him if he needed to just come home. Our calls often would result in me laughing at his ideas and next adventure, talking through his plans and working through his issues but it would always end with ‘love you miss you’ ‘love you ru.’”

Reflecting on his talent, the proud sister continued:

“Liam was born with music in his veins, it was clear from a very young age he just had that quality that would make him a star. I could sit and listen to him sing all day, which is a good job really because he never bloody stopped! I will never tire of the look he gives when showing new songs, ‘listen loud’ he’d say and just grin with pride of his work. I keep notes on my phone ‘things to tell liam’ so that if he was away working for a while, I’d know what I needed to update him on. I suppose it’s only right I tell him now.”

She then wrote a personal note to the Perfect singer, continuing:

“Liam, My brain is struggling to catch up with what’s happening and I don’t understand where you’ve gone. I just want to drive to your house and walk in to music blasting and find you sat there writing a song or walk in to your art phases and sit with you whilst you draw or craft.

What I loved most about you is your ability to make me laugh, I never chuckle as much as I do when I’m with you with anyone else. I’m always in awe of your talent, it should be illegal to be so talented and just have the ability to not only be good at things but be bloody great at everything you attempt, without even knowing you’re absolutely smashing it each time. I love your kindness and how proud I am to call you my brother and my best friend. You also make a great Sunday dinner too!”

Sadly, Ruth opened up about how she thinks the world wasn’t “kind enough” to her brother before his death. As Perezcious readers know, he was dealing with a career setback and legal issues with an ex at the time of his death. Ruth expressed:

“I don’t feel this world was good enough or kind enough to you, and quite often over the last few years, you’ve had to really try hard to overcome all that was being aimed at you. You just wanted to be loved and to make people happy with your music. You never believed you were good enough, I hope you can now see this outpouring of love that you never received in your time.”

Oof. So sad!

She concluded by promising to look after his 7-year-old son Bear with ex Cheryl Cole, finishing:

“Thank you for changing my life, thank you for the incredible memories, thank you for being the best brother and friend I’ll ever have! We’ll take care of Bear and he will always know how incredible his Dad is and how much you idolise him.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. Love you, oh how my heart misses you, Ru xx
One last time I need you to know, I’m here if you need anything, I’d drive to the end of the universe to bring you back.”

Absolutely gut-wrenching. He was so loved by so many…

Ruth also uploaded several photos with her brother alongside the statement. See (below):

Lots of love to Ruth and all of Liam’s loved ones. R.I.P.

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, help is available. Consider contacting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, by calling, texting, or chatting, or go to 988lifeline.org.

[Image via Phil Lewis/WENN & Ruth Gibbins/Instagram]