[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]
Billy Joel is looking back at one of the most difficult chapters of his life.
In the first part of his new documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, which premiered at the Tribeca Festival in New York City on Wednesday, the 76-year-old musician revealed a dark secret. He attempted suicide twice in his early 20s. This was right after he had an affair with his best friend and former bandmate’s wife. Wow.
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Back then, Billy was in a band called Attila with his pal Jon Small. The Piano Man singer moved in with Jon, his wife, Elizabeth Weber, and their son, and it was there that he betrayed his friend. Elizabeth said in the documentary:
“Bill and I spent a lot of time together.”
According to her, their relationship was a “slow build.” However, it eventually became a full-blown affair. Jon soon realized something was going on between the two, so Billy came clean and said:
“I’m in love with your wife.”
Naturally, Jon was “very upset” with his pal. That’s an understatement on Joel’s part — they guy decked him. Billy recalled:
“I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker. I was just in love with a woman and I got punched in the nose which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset.”
The brawl marked the end of Attila, along with their friendship for some time. Elizabeth left Jon, and she later reconnected with Billy. Despite the scandalous beginnings, they made it work — and were married from 1973 to 1982.
But before all that, the guilt was eating the Grammy winner alive, and he spiraled into a very dark place. He started drinking and became depressed, to the point where he didn’t want to live anymore:
“I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats and I was depressed I think to the point of almost being psychotic. So I figured, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.’ I was just in a lot of pain and it was sort of like, ‘Why hang out? Tomorrow is going to be just like today is and today sucks.’ So, I just thought I’d end it all.”
His sister Judy Molinari was a medical assistant and gave him sleeping pills since he was struggling to fall asleep at the time. She never thought her brother would use them to try to take his own life. But that’s what happened, and the world very nearly lost him. Judy tearfully said in the doc:
“But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them… he was in a coma for days and days and days. I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him.”
Billy remembered he woke up from the coma in a hospital still in the same dark space, thinking he wanted to try again but this time get it “right.” According to Judy, he drank a bottle of “lemon Pledge.” It was Jon who saved him and took him to the hospital that time around, though. Billy shared:
“Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life.”
Despite all the hurt Billy caused, Jon “forgave him” afterward. The drummer said:
“He never really said anything to me. The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually I forgave him.”
Following the two suicide attempts, Billy felt like a “lost soul” and checked himself into an “observation ward.” And those couple of weeks away became life-changing for the pianist:
“I got out of the observation ward and I thought to myself, you can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music.”
Wow. Billy isn’t holding back in this documentary. He is really laying it all out there. Reactions, Perezcious readers? Do you plan to watch the doc when it comes out on HBO in July? Let us know in the comments.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, help is available. Consider contacting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, by calling, texting, or chatting, or go to 988lifeline.org.
[Image via MEGA/WENN, Billy Joel/YouTube]
The post Billy Joel Reveals He Attempted Suicide Twice After Affair With His Bandmate's Wife: 'I Was Just In A Lot Of Pain' appeared first on Perez Hilton.